“I’m not the cute girl,
I’m not the funny girl,
I’m not at all the girl you think I am.
I hide behind disguises.
I’m the broken girl,
The girl who lets you take advantage because I don’t deserve any better.
I’m the girl who gets torn down every single day of my life,
but hides the broken edges with a smile.
I’m the girl who needs to cry,
but never will.
The girl who wants and needs to be loved,
but never will.
I am tainted,
I am a disgrace.
I am someone else’s trash,
and never anyone’s prize.
I am desperately trying to escape myself,
to escape you,
I am the dirt beneath your feet,
longing to be the whisper on your lips.
I am fools gold,
Pretending I’m valuable,
When in reality,
I am a joke.
I am a shattered heart,
But not worth the time.”—
“Ever since I was young I never understood anything about the world, and I never understood anything that happened in my life. The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you. That’s all I’ve ever known and that’s enough, that’s enough for me for the rest of my life”—Boy Meets World
I realized there are things I do to feel less alone…I pretend to let people get close to me, let them think that they have opened me up while I’m simultaneously trying to convince myself the same thing. I let them do whatever they want, whatever it takes to keep them there….but they never stay. I force myself into this vicious cycle that has no end, just different faces. Why is it so hard to just feel wanted, I don’t even have to be happy, I just want to be content.